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when i was little,

i used to go with my dad to Sac State

when i had Monday holidays but he still had to teach.

i loved sitting among the college students,

creating my own jewelry designs out of wax.

twenty-or-so years later,

i am playing with this medium again as if no time has passed.

(( new experiments in sterling silver ))

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life is a ridiculous mystical circus dreamgasm of joyful futility

(Mark Morford, "The Great Impending OMG of 2011")

Ps.

Blue Valentine

beautiful

raw

poignant

(go now)

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fascinating,

the power of scent:

instant transportation

to the past

we should label our perfumes, lotions, candles, incense...

by date (instead of name)

so we know exactly which one to select,

 according to the moment we would like to relive

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sometimes,

the only direction to go

is

up



(poster part a piece at SFMOMA anniversary show)

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i wake up

looking forward

to an egg, of course,

and a piece of toast

with butter and

( Jacob's lavender-infused honey )

yes.

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loving white

& texture

& fabric

birthday necklace for Emma

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the healing power

of candlelit baths in the afternoon

this view:

serenity

gratitude

faith

listen

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food for the soul.

chocolate chip cookies

oh my god these are ridiculous. make them now.

(from David Lebovitz's The Great Book of Chocolate)

1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated sugar
1/2 cup (120 grams) firmly packed light brown sugar
8 tablespoons (1 stick) (115 grams) unsalted butter, cold, cut into 1/2-inch (1cm) pieces
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/4 cups (175 grams) all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups (200 grams) semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup(130 grams) walnuts or pecans, toasted and chopped

adjust the oven rack to the top 1/3 of the oven and preheat to 300F (150C).  line three baking sheets with parchment paper.  beat the sugars and butters together until smooth.  mix in the egg, vanilla, and baking soda.  stir together the flour and salt, then mix them into the batter.  mix in the chocolate chips and nuts.  scoop the cookie dough into 2-tablespoon (5cm) balls and place 8 balls, spaced 4 inches (10cm) apart, on each of the baking sheets.  bake for 18 minutes, or until pale golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack.  store at room temperature in an airtight container for up to 3 days.  makes about 20 cookies.

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( listen )

 below, the past

torn

antidote, blank walls

 

(empty clothespins)

shedding

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0 1 . 0 1 . 1 1

(part one)

0 1 . 0 1 . 1 1

(part two)

ps. it's time. the north beckons.

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( get ready )

here

we

go

...
 

!

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i never get enough time in this home

especially in front of the fire

(nor in the kitchen)

first time making Tartine's Chocolate Souffle Cake
 ((  !  ))

Ingredients:

3/4 c walnuts or pecans, lightly toasted and finely chopped

3/4 c + 1 tbsp unsalted butter

14 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped

7 large eggs

3/4 c + 2 tbsp sugar

1/4 tsp salt

for ganache topping:

4 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped

1/2 c heavy cream

Kitchen Notes:  The success of this cake depends on two things.  First, you must incorporate air into the egg yolk and sugar mixture, whipping them to a thick ribbon, or the cake will not have the correct light texture when it is baked.  Second, you must be careful not to overbake the cake, or it will turn out dry.  Many cooks are inclined to turn the mixer to high speed for beating egg whites to stiff peaks.  But you will find that if you whip whites on medium speed and take a little longer, the whites will have a tighter, more stable structure and have fewer large, irregular air pockets.

Preheat the oven to 325.  Line the bottom of a 10-inch springform pan with 3-inch sides with parchment paper cut to fit exactly.  Evenly distribute nuts over the bottom of the pan, then gently shake the pan back and forth to fill in any gaps.  In a small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat and then add the chocolate.  Stir as the chocolate melts, blending it with the butter.  Remove from the heat and set aside.

(recipe continued on next page)

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it's getting close.

 

fresh surfaces

new ideas

going deeper

(the year ahead is twinkling)

ps. you are exactly where you're supposed to be.

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seven hours north

the fire was waiting our arrival

soup and arugula and gingerbread with whipped cream and
christmas cookies and manhattans and hot toddies and chamomile tea and boxes.

lots

of

b o x e s .

 more photos of this year's Secret Person gift here

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white swan/black swan

golden heart

and thoughts,

 like the train passing nearby,

of this time last year

full circle

full moon

filled up

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for the hair:

dust from the desert,

in a shaker.

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i said, "you know what i want right now?!"

Jess and i looked at each other and grinned and at the same time exclaimed "a hot toddy!"

yes, wet, grey days like today are made for hot toddies.

i just so happened to have everything we needed to concoct them immediately.

(the following is from The Art of the Bar, 

by Absinthe bartenders Jeff Hollinger and Rob Schwartz)

 

For One Hot Toddy:

4 to 5 whole cloves
1 cinnamon stick
1 star anise
1 teaspoon honey
½ cup boiling water
1 ½ ounces brandy
lemon wedge

Combine the cloves, cinnamon stick, star anise, and honey in a heat-proof snifter. Top with the boiling water and stir to melt the honey. Top with brandy (i used bourbon instead). Squeeze the lemon wedge and drop into the snifter. (If this doesn't hit the spot, i don't know what does.)

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festivities soon await

 

spent the entire day

(with the exception of buying stamps at the post office & an evening yoga session) 

at home,

making things.

heater on, music on, slippers on, & raindrops pitter-pattering.

days like this are made for crafting, singing, cooking, & dancing in the bedroom.

(photos here)

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spontaneous squash soup for dinner.

1 Tbsp thyme

2 Tbsp nutmeg

1 Tbsp coriander

1 tsp cumin

6 dried sage leaves

1/4 c butter

1 yellow onion, chopped

4 leeks, chopped

4 cloves garlic, smashed

1-2 Tbsp salt

1 buttercup squash, peeled and chopped into 1/2 inch slices

1 delicata squash, peeled & chooped into 1/2 inch slices

4 small potatoes

4 c chicken stock

water

bacon, apple, pomegranate, parmigiano for garnish

toast spices for a few minutes in large pot till fragrant.  add butter and onions, leeks, garlic & salt.  cook for about 5 minutes.  add chopped squash and potatoes.  stir and cook for a few minutes.  add chicken stock.  add enough water to reach the level of vegetables.  bring to a boil, then turn heat down and allow to simmer for about 20 minutes, or until squash & potatoes are tender.  transfer, in batches, to blender and puree.  i added no extra butter or cream because it was so creamy and flavorful without it.  garnish with chopped bacon, julienned green apple, fresh pomegranate seeds, and shaved parmigiano.

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Jess asks what the best part of my day was.

The Bath.

my long lost companion.  ritual.

fire, scent, dim shadows, water, warmth, exhales, & faith.

plus my Hypemachine playlist, a compilation reflecting the past 1 1/2 years.  

gradually, i am transported.

put this on loud, and know that change is pending.

all kinds of good, big change.

2011 arrives shortly--and Rick, brownie mix is in the works.

ps. don't forget about mashed potatoes with their skins and carmelized onions and garlic and oregano and thyme and butter and nutmeg and pieces of kale and maybe some chanterelles--with a fried egg on top.

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go get this now.

(( haven't felt this way about a soap in a long time ))

also available at Afterlife in SF

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a few things from up north:

1. new favorite place

2. hot out of the oven

3. he won us over

4. we are everything

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1. do not ever forget

2. my favorite

3. necessary

4. feathery down blanket

 

(( and ))

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(on a cloudy day)

sometimes one must bake a cake.

and eat it.

(on no particular occasion)

with whipped cream and walnuts and maple syrup.

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2011:

taking creative action in the presence of fear

{ growth over fear }

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one thing:

the gratitude i feel is exponential

for the dear friends that are in my life.

thank you

(thank you)

((thank you))

 

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these days seem to blend into one another.
waking/dreaming/sleeping/living...

the lines become blurred.
it is all continuous.


in love with Hellen Van Meene's work:

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sometimes

you think you're okay.  and then you realize you're not.

 

but then someone reminds you:

you think you're not okay, but you are.

{  f u l l  c i r c l e s  }

ps. savory tart with delicata squash, shitakes, carmelized onions, chevre, & kale