the 80 acres

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the experience of happiness,

[is] the most dangerous,

because all the happiness possible

increases our thirst

and the voice of love makes an emptiness,

a solitude reverberate.

(françois mauriac)

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i knew again why all this--

to grow more alive.

to experience being alive and being brought alive by another.

something so beautiful and rare.

(sabrina ward harrison)

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this morning,

the sweet ocean breeze

is pregnant with

n o s t a l g i a .

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the train horn is

this town

is my childhood

is my college years

is summertime

is warm evenings with windows propped open

soft breezes,

sand stuck to my calves,

night-blooming jasmine

i return home to a room

glowing warm

orange, peach

golden

the sweet spot of the day

(just like that)

it feels good again.

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i might be exploding with some kind of ecstatic energy

dance therapy

(must i sell it again?)

ebullience

((( spring is in the air )))

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someone

has secretly been placing these

shells

on top of my mailbox pillar.

i keep wondering how many shells will slowly accumulate,

when the next will arrive.

(( we need more pretty surprises in the world ))

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nighttime

Big Sur

February

makes me doubt the possibility

of surviving an east coast/northern European winter

(fireside, feet submerged in bin of scalding hot water)

and then, blanket of black sky above,

a dusting of powdered sugar stars

and the most heavenly nook

((( GO HERE NOW )))

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if i could sum

[ it ]

up:

Black Hills/Orange Blossom, Gardens and Villa

New Theory, Washed Out

Down by the Water, The Drums

High Come Down, Junior Boys

Sorrow, The National

Psychic Chasms, Neon Indian

Nightbird, Stevie Nicks

Hold Me Right, ESG

Spottieottiedopaliscious, Outkast

Wide Eyes, Local Natives

It Should Have Been You, Gwen Guthrie

November, Y la Bamba

Holy Dances, Beach House

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if i do say so myself...

i love

Dad's recent work

(wrought iron with gold leaf detail)

(( more images here ))

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(( Hafiz ))

Now is the time to know

That all you do is sacred.

Now, why not consider

A lasting truce with yourself and God.

Now is the time to understand

That all your ideas of right and wrong

Were just a child's training wheels

To be laid aside

When you can finally live

With veracity

And love.

Hafiz is a divine envoy

Whom the Beloved

Has written a holy message upon.

My dear, please tell me,

Why do you still

Throw sticks at your heart

And God?

What is it in that sweet voice inside

That incites you to fear?

Now is the time for the world to know

That every thought and action is sacred.

This is the time

For you to deeply compute the impossibility

That there is anything

But Grace.

Now is the season to know

That everything you do

Is sacred.

ps. Airships

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raindrops

Billie

brownie baking

(saturday perfection)

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playlist for today:

Shelter, The XX

A Change is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke

Green Arrow, Yo la Tengo

Tether Beat, Twin Shadow

Make Love, Daft Punk

Re: Stacks, Bon Iver

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new little paintings:

(click below to see more photos)

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new places

new energies

new spaces

new outlooks

old comforts

ps. perfection here

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a quiet sunday

morning bath

porch reading

billie holiday vinyl

drizzly bikeride

multiple rainbows

acceptance of repose

and time spent mostly in the kitchen:

twelve-grain hot cereal with dates, apples, slivered almonds,

cardamom, nutmeg & cream

delicata squash soup with cumin & leeks,

topped with crispy bacon, kale chips & parmigiano

orange-cardamom madeleines

i made a few alterations to this recipe. instead of using lemon zest, i used orange zest. i also added 1-2 teaspoons ground cardamom (can't get enough of it). and instead of dusting madeleines with powdered sugar, i finished them with a quick glaze. for glaze, mix 1/2 c powdered sugar and 2 tablespoons orange juice (used the same orange that i zested).

(complete recipe on next page)

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it's sunny again.

and i finally learned

how to use my new mint green

industrial sewing machine.

excited for upcoming projects.

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(more from Just Kids):

where does it all lead?

what will become of us?

it leads to each other.

we become ourselves.

made this last night for the first time.

orginal recipe didn't call for thyme or honey, but the combination was quite lovely.

serve cake with a glass of madeira or other dessert wine...

lemon-thyme polenta cake

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup polenta

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil (use a buttery vs. pungent oil)

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

2 large eggs

1 cup granulated sugar

1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest

1-2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh thyme

1 cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

honey (for drizzling)

Preheat the oven to 325°. Butter a 9-inch springform pan. Sift together flour, polenta, baking soda and salt. In a small bowl, combine the olive oil, lemon juice and vanilla. In a large bowl, beat the eggs with the granulated sugar at medium speed until thick, about 3 minutes. Gradually beat in the oil mixture, lemon zest, and thyme. Gently fold in the dry ingredients just until blended. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 50 minutes, or until the center springs back when lightly pressed. Let the cake cool on a wire rack for 5 minutes. Remove the side and let cool completely. In a medium bowl, whip the heavy cream with sugar and vanilla to soft peaks. Transfer the cake to a serving plate and sift the confectioners' sugar over the top. Serve with a drizzle of honey and a spoonful of whipped cream.